10 Ideas For Embracing The Upside Of Life

We have all come across the famous saying, “when nothing goes right, go left”. If you are like me in some ways, you have probably asked the question, “what is left?”. Yes indeed, what is left after every effort, every desire, every outing, every social interaction goes wrong? What is left when luck seems to be running on a minus? Do you want to know what is left?

What is left is your faith in your own ability, a string of experiences that have improved your knowledge and wisdom baselines, and enough strength to see you through to where you want to get to in life. Understandably, it may be difficult to immediately focus on these positives when you are going through a phase. Your rational mind may understand that it is just a phase that will run its course and taper off with time, but it can still get overwhelming and throw you into unending cycles of rumination, fear, anxiety, loneliness, and a dangerously vulnerable state. Moreso, the uncertainty of how long the strings of negatively impacting life events are going to last can make it look like time is going very slowly when nothing seems to be working for you.

It is however helpful to know that you don’t have to get lost in these challenges, and that there are practical strategies that you can try to help soften the blows and keep your perspectives healthy as you navigate the turbulence.

Here are a few strategies that can help:

1. Practice radical acceptance of life’s unpredictability. Look at it this way, a smooth sea never makes a skilled sailor, and like it is often said, life does not get easier, you become better at living it. Life’s unpredictable events is how we learn to build physical, mental and emotional strength needed. If life becomes predictable or you manage to introduce infinite predictability into your life – which is not possible anyway, then you have plateaued and further growth is not something you are interested in anymore. So be radically accepting of life’s curveballs and do what is necessary to build your strength in the arcade game of life.

2. Manage Your Perspectives. It is often said that if you change how you are looking at it, then what you are looking at changes. This is not so say that we have to call a lion a cat in order to calm our nerves. It is not negativity if you maintain an accurate view of what you are looking at. In fact, the ability to accurately identify what is not working or will not be working in your favor is important in managing your perspectives. Managing one’s perspective also requires surrounding yourself with people who are positive, optimistic, but also candid. Spend time with people of all ages; you need to borrow the wisdom of the elderly and the confidence of the young ones.

3. Explore on paper. I am a big fan of thinking on paper because that paper serves as a real-time capture of the cross-section of your mind at the end of the thinking activity. Exploring situations on paper is something that can be quite therapeutic and doubles as an opportunity to gather fresh perspectives. Thinking on paper can help you realize what you are blowing out of proportion and what you are ignoring.

4. Be methodical in your approach. Nothing beats the ability to mentally slow things down enough to be able to study and understand the patterns. Think about chaos as a randomized pattern instead of a total disorganization; no matter how chaotic everything looks, there is a near predictable pattern within. To do this, tackle one problem at a time. Choosing to tackle one problem at a time removes the feeling of overwhelm and restores the sense of control and confidence in your abilities.

5. Get creative. As humans, we are prone to overvaluing the role of thinking in problem-solving at the expense of neglecting the immensely invaluable roles that creativity plays in solving problems or managing crises. While thinking allows us to solidify our plans on a paper, creativity is what comes in to help us deal with the fact that all plans are only solid as long as they are on the paper. In essence, creativity helps us to device a new strategy quickly when a predetermined plan fails. To stimulate your creativity, listen to music, play games, write a story, use virtual reality for visualization if you have one. Awakening creativity is one of the many ways that you recruit your subconscious mind into conscious use.

6. Ask for Advice. Nobody knows it all, and nobody should try to know it all; it is counterproductive. Sometimes, the people who are standing outside of the storm can and do have insights into what is happening, how it is happening and why it is happening. They may be able to offer us guidance on how to prevent certain occurrences from repeating itself. Bear in mind that this is a thin line to walk. While other people may be able to see our situation more clearly, they may also not be able to gauge our strength accurately or appreciate the depth of our vision, and may try to steer us away completely from our chosen path. You have to be selective in what you are absorbing by asking only for objective and specific feedbacks. This serves as a guardrail for your mind and keeps inputs in check.

7. Apply wisdom. Do not make snap decisions when faced with uncertainties. Bear in mind that you are very vulnerable when caught up in the middle of chaotic life events. Use your mental and emotional resources wisely in these seasons. You are allowed to be selfish until you have enough of yourself to share with other people. Wisdom is doing what you have to do to get yourself out of a dark place. It is also understanding that it will cost you something valuable, something personal, and something painful. But growth costs a lot!

8. Avoid resentment. It can be very tempting to be resentful for many reasons, some of which would be understandable. But resentment is a distracting and limiting force. Feeling angry and resentful towards life and how unfair it has been to you will not change the way things are going for you. Recognize your emotions, examine them, then release the ones that are not serving you well in your situation.

9. Be patient with yourself. Just because you understand what is going on does not mean that you necessarily have any control over how long it will go on for. Yes, some situations can be excruciatingly annoying or even disabling at extremes, but if you can put your internal resources to good use while weathering the storm and apply the flexibility of a reed to the winds, the storm will eventually pass! Understand that everyone is going through something or will go through something unnerving at some season in time, so don’t take your own season personal because, “…this too shall pass”!

10. Believe in yourself. If your confidence takes a beating 99 times, give it a 100th reviving! Your will to survive whatever situation you find yourself in is one of your most powerful assets. As a young adult, I remember being involved in a road traffic accident once on the eve of my birthday, and while the vehicle was spinning out of control, I was busy thinking to myself, “…my parents are going to kill me if I die!”. Funny, right? But sometimes, the will to survive can be the most ridiculous thing about you in your downtime. You just have to believe in your ability to make it through the chaos even when you have no idea how that is going to happen!

Doing these things will not be easy especially when you feel that the world is conspiring against you. And of course, these strategies are not designed to undermine your feelings of hurt, agitation, uncertainties and depression. But these strategies are designed to help you go through these emotions with hope for a brighter outcome instead of catastrophizing.

Make sure to like and share this article with your friends and loved ones to encourage them in their trying season. Stay with us as we continue to update our library on well-being i upcoming articles!