Building Trust For Social Goodwill

When in the midst of one’s kinsmen, it is easy to underestimate the role of trust in fetching goodwill from members of our tribes and circles. We seem not to recognize the privilege of being trusted for simply just being a member of the clan or tribe because we are automatically deserving of goodwill and belongingness by simply just being born into that tribe. In a broader social context, there are some of us who enjoy public trust and goodwill automatically based on our professions, public offices, and financial status.

When I migrated to the United states, I recognized that social goodwill is something that is paid for with trust, and trust is something that relies on chronicity to grow. So, because of this fact, anyone who has the power of chronicity over you in a new workplace is going to use that power to either help or harm you. This has played out several times in my case; sometimes I am lucky enough to evade harm and sometimes I’m not. In both cases, I often pride myself lucky because…win some, learn some.

So here are a few lessons that I have learned about having to build trust for yourself from the scratch when you find yourself in a new domain and have to put in work to increase your chances at being included and scoring belonginess.

1. Understand the power of chronicity: When you walk into any setting at all in a new place, your first responsibility is to buy time. No matter how sweet the welcome is, you can almost always be sure that there is at least one person who is intimidated by your presence and they will stop at nothing to get rid of you. Their only weapon against you is time. Your only weapon to overcome the set-up is time. Buy time!
2. Understand the power of shared identity: Fit in. Blending into the expected identity for your role and environment is how you build relatedness. You are always profiling people, and people are always profiling you so don’t overvalue the concept of diversity (diversity has never protected me in the times it should have.). Most times, profiling is the brain’s way of establishing relatedness; if people can relate then they are more trusting.
3. Be Consistent: Being a reliable person is a sign of self-respect and the more you respect yourself, the more other people will respect you. Consistency is the barest level of work needed to acquire trust. Even if you are just a beginner, being consistent signals that you have a strong willingness to put in the work required to become a pro at your responsibilities and services. It gets you the right kind of attention.
4. Have integrity: This is all about moral and ethical strength. Integrity is about being honest, fair, and respectful. It is all about fulfilling the requirements of one’s role whether or not anybody is watching. Integrity is the highest indication that a person is capable of being self-led. Trusting someone with integrity means that you can rely on them to act in your best interest, even when it might be inconvenient or difficult for them – this is how integrity fetches trust.
5. Communicate: Communicate, but don’t abuse communication. Overcommunication is very much a problem as not knowing how to or under-communicating. In any given setting, the village parrot is rarely if ever included. So, say only what is necessary and keep away from the temptation to say more than that.

These few strategies have been shown to hold the most potency when it comes to building trust. Bear in mind that you may do all of these and your detractors still succeed in tarnishing your image. When this happens, you may subconsciously actually see yourself in the negative light that your image has been subjected to. This is the part where you must understand that you are not your image just as you are not your shadow.

Trust is worth paying the price for if you must obtain social goodwill and succeed wherever you find yourself. Focus on noting the elements that shortens the time from when a person first meets you to when they arrive the decision to trust you. I must warn that trying to manipulate people into trusting you can greatly backfire even if done for the best of reasons. Also, the human spirit can sense inauthenticity so refrain from trying to sweet talk people into trusting you even if you think that they cannot see through your facade. In whatever setting you find yourself, express disciplined authenticity.

This article was inspired by my considerations on building goodwill for myself as I continue to integrate into the American society. Have you experienced situations where you have to build trust for yourself from the scratch? How did you navigate it? Share your experience with us in the comment section and we can start a discussion on building trust for yourself and knowing when to give trust. You can also share this article with the people who matter to you to spark a conversation around what trust means to them.