Mental Maps & Changed Routes
I had plans for how my life would be at this point in my life, and as long as I didn’t switch course, my life would have been exactly where I’d have wanted it to be.
Or, would it? I don’t think so. All hindsight evaluations have shown that in one way or another, I’d have been grossly dissatisfied with my life had I not switched course. And even foresight evaluations have shown that there will always be something to be dissatisfied about with life, and therefore one must actively learn the divine art of contentment. Let’s talk about life’s curveballs and reggaes.
We all have a map of what we want our world to look like. For the most part, that map is formed from internal inputs bordering on our trajectory. It seems to me that as humans, we are very likely to ignore perceptive information which is largely an external input, when building the maps of our lives.
Because of ignoring the external information which is very important for building a safe guide to our preferred destinations in life, we are likely to see hardworking people who don’t amount to much in the long run. We are also likely to see parents who believe that they’re doing a great job raising their kids only for that kid to grow up and struggle with fitting or amounting to much.
However, the greater problem is that when our mental maps fail, we are likely to immediately install a new one to help us navigate the new terrain we have found ourselves, drawing largely from the previously failed map without realizing that we are about to repeat an unproductive pattern.
When life changes, we need to step back and do the tasking mental work of learning what life requires of us in that moment. This willingness to be a student of life almost readily leads to faster progress.
When my life switched course, I found it really difficult to release my mental mapping for the life I’d previously been working for and create a new map for the new reality that I now live in. This led to needless anxiety, or maybe, necessary anxiety that overstayed its welcome. For reasons like this one, I’m often very grateful for my friends and family members who often challenge to reevaluate my views of my self and capabilities.
With continued honest and vulnerable conversations with friends and family, I was offered insights to aspects of my personality that I had either forgotten about or was unaware of its existence. With these solid feedbacks, I would sit in the place of meditation and search for or grow these other parts of me that I’ve been told exists(ed).
It is dangerous to leave your brain without a guide for how you want your life to progress. If you don’t give it directions, it will direct itself, and the brain often tilts towards the path of easy resistance when left unattended.
Here are a few ways that you can re-map your life when significant changes happen:
- Release your past expectations for the future that you predicted for yourself.
- Seek information from many different sources; both internally and externally.
- Learn how to use the information that you gather. You’re not lacking confidence when you ask people to paint a picture of who they think you are to you even though some people may think so.
- Be vulnerable where you need to be. If you’re preoccupied with what people will think about your vulnerability, you are not allowing yourself the chance to meet with candor, and candor is necessary.
- Resilience is your friend. Aligning with or going against gravity is never easy even though we may think one of these is easier. You just have to be strong.
- Lastly, trust yourself. Trust yourself so hard that the world thinks that you’re celebrating a fool’s gold! That self-trust remains the blueprint always!
I hope that you find the courage to rebuild the life that you desire when faced with changes.
